Sledging dating trend: Know if it is toxic

Getting dumped or ending a relationship, especially during the holidays, can be very hurtful. It can also lead to loneliness, and you may find it hard to dodge family questions related to your love life. This is when many people turn to sledging, a dating trend that involves delaying a breakup to avoid being single during the winter season, a time when families often come together to celebrate Christmas and welcome the New Year. If old-school romance is your thing, this popular winter dating trend might just make you uncomfortable. For some, sledging may seem like the best way to enjoy companionship through the holiday season but it can turn toxic.

What is the sledging dating trend?

Sledging dating trend, popular among Gen Z, involves individuals intentionally delaying a breakup to avoid being single during the colder winter months. “It involves continuing to date someone even if there is no genuine romantic interest, simply to have company during the festive season,” explains mental health and behavioural science expert Dr Rahul Chandhok. This winter dating trend is mostly to avoid loneliness during the holiday season. “People who try out sledging dating trend are not even emotionally attached, but continue the relationship just for convenience,” says psychiatrist Dr Ashish Bansal.

Why do people want to try the sledging dating trend?

There are a few reasons why people might be drawn to the sledging dating trend:

• Fear of loneliness: The winter months, especially around holidays, can amplify feelings of loneliness. According to a 2015 research published in the Open Psychology Journal, loneliness peaks during the winter season. Sledging provides a temporary solution to it which is the reason why it has become quite a popular trend in winter.
• Physical comfort and attraction: Some people might enjoy the physical intimacy and comfort that comes with being in a relationship, even if it is not emotionally fulfilling.
• Social pressure: “Societal expectations and peer pressure can influence people to be in a relationship, even if it is not genuine,” says Dr Chandhok.

What are the signs of sledging?

Certain signs of sledging indicate that the relationship is more about convenience. So, if you are not sure about your relationship, look for these signs as explained by Dr Bansal:

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• There is no more spark in your relationship. But still you two stay together just because of the holiday season.
• The aim of a relationship is no longer based on long-term goals. Discussions about plans or commitments are avoided.
• The focus is mainly on physical intimacy rather than emotional connection.
• You two steer clear of deep and meaningful conversations about feelings or the relationship’s direction.
• You two may be inconsistent while communicating, often cancelling plans or being vague about availability.
• The two of you show little interest in each other’s personal lives, hobbies, or goals.

Are there any benefits of sledging?

Loneliness is not good for your mental health. It can lead to disorders like depression, alcohol abuse, sleep problems, and Alzheimer’s disease, according to an analysis published in the Journal Of Clinical And Diagnostic Research in 2014. “Trying out the sledging dating trend might temporarily alleviate feelings of loneliness, but it is important to recognise that it is not a sustainable or healthy approach to relationships,” says Dr Chandhok. In the long run, it can lead to emotional pain and hurt feelings for both parties involved.

Is the sledging dating trend toxic?

Sledging dating trend is considered toxic due to the following negative effects:

• Wastage of time: If you are emotionally detached in a relationship, it will only waste your time. “You won’t achieve genuine happiness if you go for the sledging dating trend,” says Dr Bansal.
• Emotional manipulation: It involves manipulating someone’s emotions by leading them on and giving false hope.
• Lack of respect: Sledging disregards the other person’s feelings and values their time and emotions.
• Emotional harm: It can lead to feelings of rejection and disappointment. “It may also lead to self-doubt, which can emotionally harm you,” says Dr Chandhok.
• Negative impact on future relationships: Trust is one of the key factors of a healthy relationship. Sledging dating trend is toxic, as it can make it difficult to trust and form genuine connections in future relationships.

How to avoid the sledging dating trend?

Here are some tips to avoid engaging in the sledging dating trend:

1. Honest communication

“Be honest with yourself about your relationship status and how you feel while being in it,” says Dr Bansal. You also need to tell your partner openly about your intentions and feelings. If you are not interested in a serious relationship, communicate it clearly and respectfully to your partner.

2. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries in any kind of relationship is a must. When it comes to the sledging dating trend, it is even more important to establish clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning. Don’t allow yourself to be led on or manipulated. Otherwise, it will only hurt you in the future.

3. Prioritise your well-being

Whether you are happily single or in a relationship, focus on your well-being rather than dating trends. Your own happiness and well-being matter. “Don’t sacrifice your self-worth for temporary comfort provided by trying out the sledging dating trend,” says Dr Chandhok.

4. Trust your instincts

Open communication is good for knowing each other’s intentions about the relationship. But if something feels off or you sense that your partner is not being genuine, trust your instincts and distance yourself. Don’t stay in the relationship just for convenience.

5. Keep yourself busy

Don’t try the sledging dating trend just because you feel lonely. “If you want to stay busy and enjoy the holiday season, practice self-love by engaging in activities that help you feel better,” suggests Dr Bansal. You can go for gardening, painting, or try something that you were not able to do due to your busy professional life.

A healthy relationship is not about convenience, but more about trust, respect, and genuine connection. Avoid engaging in sledging dating trends that can be toxic, and prioritise your emotional well-being.