Is a family member or friend feeling low? Don’t judge them or give unsolicited advice. Learn how to cheer someone up the right way.
Your friend or loved one may have a rough day at work and feeling low. If not professional matter, something personal like a bad break-up or a fight with someone they care about may make them feel low. You would definitely not like to just stand there and let your loved one go through the pain. Considering your bond with that person, you can connect with them and make them feel better. Supporting someone in a low mood can make all the difference. It can boost their confidence and lighten up. But you won’t always have the right things to say or do. Don’t worry, you can always learn how to cheer someone up and boost their mood.
How to spot someone who is feeling low?
“Family and friends can often notice when someone is feeling sad through subtle changes in someone’s behaviour or habits,” says psychologist Vandita Sharma. If you want to learn how to cheer someone up, watch out for the signs of low mood first:
- Seeming low or distant.
- Appearing more irritable or prone to mood swings.
- Talking less or appearing unusually quiet.
- Eating just for the sake of it or showing little interest in meals they once enjoyed.
- Not dressing or grooming well as they usually would.
- Avoiding social interactions or withdrawing from their family members and friends.
- Responding with less enthusiasm to conversations or plans.
- Not finding joy or happiness in activities they previously loved.
- Spending more time doomscrolling or mindlessly scrolling through their phone.
How to cheer someone up: Things to avoid
Timely encouragement from a loved one can prevent low mood from worsening into deeper emotional challenges. “Also, genuine gestures of help or support help rebuild confidence and combat negative thoughts,” says the expert. But while learning how to cheer someone up, make sure to steer clear of the following:
- Minimising their feelings: Avoid saying things like “you need to get over it” or “it is nothing major or a big deal”. When you learn how to cheer someone up, make sure not to use these sentences. as they can make them feel invalidated.
- Giving unwanted advice: Refrain from offering solutions to their problems unless they specifically ask for your help.
- Dismissing their emotions: Avoid pressuring them to stay positive or downplaying their struggles.
- Judging their behaviour: Criticising or blaming them can make them retreat further into their shell.
- Using insensitive humour: Making them laugh can improve their mood. Bit be mindful not to joke in a way that seems to undermine their feelings or situation.
How to cheer someone up?
Want to make your loved feel better and help them boost mood? Then learn how to cheer someone up.
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1. Listen actively
Giving your full attention to a loved one is more of a powerful act of empathy. Remember this when you learn how to cheer someone up. “When someone is feeling down, they need to be heard. Avoid interrupting, and instead, use active listening techniques like nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking clarifying questions,” suggests the expert. This shows that you value their feelings and are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective.
2. Remind them of their strengths
When someone is feeling low, it’s easy to forget their positive qualities. Remind them of their past successes, their unique talents, and the challenges they have overcome over the years. “This can help give a push to their self-esteem and remind them of their strength. Positive affirmations can also be helpful in this regard,” says Sharma.
3. Offer a compliment
Complimenting others has a positive impact on others, but many people don’t give it easily. People misestimate the value of their compliments to others, and so they usually don’t engage in this prosocial behaviour, as per research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2021. “But a compliment given sincerely can brighten someone’s day,” says the expert. When you learn how to cheer someone up, remember that the compliments don’t have to be grand or extravagant; a simple, genuine one can go a long way. Focus on specific qualities or actions that you admire about your loved one. This can help them feel appreciated as well as valued.
4. Think from their perspective
Instead of imposing your solutions or advice, try to understand their situation from their point of view. As part of learning how to cheer someone up, try to understand what they are feeling, and what they need right now. Sometimes, they may simply need a listening ear or a comforting presence. Put yourself in their shoes and respond with empathy and understanding.
5. Spend quality time together
Quality time is a valuable gift you can give to people you love. Remember this when you learn how to cheer someone up. So, engage in activities that they enjoy, whether it’s a hobby you both are interested in, a walk in nature, or simply sitting together in silence. Just your presence can provide them comfort and support that they need.
6. Help with a task
Relieving someone of a small burden can significantly reduce their stress. As part of learning how to cheer someone up, try to offer to help with chores, errands, or any other task that might be weighing them down. This simple act of kindness can show that you care and are willing to help.
7. Create a distraction
Sometimes, a simple distraction can be enough to lift someone’s spirits. Engage them in a fun or light-hearted activity, such as playing a game, or watching a funny movie. Creating a distraction should be part of how to cheer someone up list, as it can help shift their focus from negative thoughts and feelings.
8. Make them laugh
Laughter is a powerful tool for boosting mood and reducing stress. Remember this when you learn how to cheer someone up. It has a positive effect on the mental health as well as the immune system, according to research published in The Tohoku Journal of Experimental Medicine in 2016. Share a funny story, joke, or meme with the person in a low mood. A good laugh can help lighten the mood and bring a smile to their face.
9. Surprise them with a thoughtful gesture
A small, unexpected gesture can show someone that you care. Giving them a handwritten note, especially in the digital era, can make them feel special. You can also surprise them with their favourite treat or dessert, or a small gift to brighten their day and make them feel loved as well as special.
10. Encourage self-care
As you learn how to cheer someone up, remind them that self-care is essential for mental and emotional well-being. “Gently encourage them to engage in activities that they find relaxing, such as taking a bath, reading a book, or practicing yoga,” says the expert.
11. Offer words of encouragement
Want to learn how to cheer someone up? Think of positive affirmations and words of encouragement, as they can go a long way. Reassure your loved one of their capabilities and remind them that even though they are in pain, and having a rough time, they are not alone.
12. Get them moving
Physical activity can uplift their mood and reduce stress. So, when you learn how to cheer someone up, focus on the importance of exercising. Encourage them to go for a walk, run, or do some other form of exercise. Exercise helps relieve symptoms connected to mood and psychological disorders such as depression, and anxiety, as per research published in Brain Plasticity in 2017. “The endorphins released during physical activity can help improve their overall mood and outlook,” says the expert.
13. Use music to boost mood
Music can be a way to heal, and boost mood. So, while learning how to cheer someone up, give importance to music. You can create a playlist for your loved one and make them listen to it while feeling low. Start with a slower choice of songs then move to fast-paced, and uplifting tracks, recommends the UK’s National Health Service.
It is not always easy to do the right things when someone you love is feeling low. Learning how to cheer someone up is important. However, be cautious to avoid forced positivity or dismissing their emotions, which may make them feel invalidated.
Related FAQs
How to cheer someone up from a distance?
To cheer up a friend who stays far away, you can send them a playlist with happy songs. A handwritten note will take time to reach them, but it can make them feel special. For something quick, share a funny video with your friend.
How to cheer up someone over the phone?
Let your friend or partner talk about their feelings, offer support, and send words of encouragement. Thanks to technology, you can also use phones to record your message and send the voice note to cheer someone up over the phone.
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