Friendship Day 2024: Why childhood friendships are important as adults

If someone asks me, “Who are your closest friends?”, I often take no time in proudly admitting that my closest circle of friends comprises my buddies from school. These are friendships I have nurtured over two decades of my life, and I am pretty convinced that they know me like no other friends may never know me. While growing up and facing the complexities of everyday life, you realise that some of your most honest friendships were born when you were just a child. Childhood friendships are precious, and if you have someone from your early childhood days, make sure to hold on to them. Maintaining childhood friendships is important, but it is not always easy to keep them. However, once you know the benefits of childhood friends in adulthood, may be you will try harder!

What are the mental health benefits of maintaining childhood friendships?

Adults who maintained childhood friendships were found to have lower blood pressure and body mass index during a study published in the Psychological Science journal in 2018. Another study published in BMC Geriatrics in 2022 found that adults who had better childhood friendships are more likely to have a slower rate of cognitive decline.

Maintaining childhood friendships into adulthood can have a substantial positive effect on mental health. Here are some of the benefits:

1. Childhood friends are like emotional anchors

Childhood friends act as emotional anchors, offering continuity and stability in life. These long-term connections help to ground people during times of stress or uncertainty. This emotional consistency can serve as a protective barrier against anxiety and despair, offering a regular source of support, says psychotherapist and life coach Dr Chandni Tugnait.

2. Long-lasting friendships lead to better self-understanding

Long-term friendships can provide valuable insights about one’s personality. Their perspective can assist us in maintaining a more accurate self-image. This improved self-awareness contributes to greater mental health by encouraging self-acceptance and allowing for more authentic personal development.

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3. Stress reduction

Childhood friendships can alleviate stress due to shared history and understanding, requiring less effort to sustain the relationship. This ease of engagement can reduce stress in social settings. The capacity to fully relax with someone who truly understands you provides a mental break that is essential for general psychological well-being, says the expert.

4. Improved resilience

Long-term friendships provide emotional support, leading to improved resilience. Knowing that you have close allies who have supported you through many life phases might enhance your confidence in taking on new difficulties. This improved resilience can help you manage stress, adjust to change, and recover from setbacks more successfully.

5. Nostalgia is a mood enhancer

Interactions with childhood friends frequently evoke nostalgia, which can improve mental health. Nostalgic remembrance can improve mood, promote self-esteem, and add purpose to one’s life experience. This favourable emotional experience can be especially advantageous in challenging situations.

6. Social skill reinforcement

Maintaining long-term friendships involves continuous social skill development. These connections provide a healthy environment for developing and reinforcing interpersonal skills, which can then be applied to other aspects of life. Strong social skills are linked to better mental health outcomes, such as lower rates of social anxiety and increased overall well-being, says Dr Tugnait.

Why do people lose touch with their childhood friends?

People frequently lose touch with childhood friends as a result of life changes and practical difficulties. As people go through life phases, their paths naturally separate. Career advancement, further education, and work relocations might result in geographical separation, making frequent contact more difficult, says the expert.

Evolving interests and values play an important role. As people mature and evolve, they may discover that they have less in common with their childhood companions, resulting in a natural drift apart. New social networks formed through jobs, personal connections, or common adult interests frequently take precedence.

Adults with time constraints may find it difficult to maintain several friendships. With responsibilities such as employment, families, and personal commitments, people frequently prioritise closer or more convenient interactions.

It is not uncommon for people to intentionally distance themselves from childhood connections as they grow and evolve. This can be a healthy part of personal development, allowing us to shed old identities and embrace new ones, says the expert.

How to maintain childhood friendships?

Maintaining childhood friendships into adulthood needs intentional effort and strategy. Here are some effective strategies:

1. Use technology

Stay connected using technology such as social media, texting applications, and video conversations. Regular check-ins, no matter how brief, can help sustain the link. Set up group chats or virtual hangouts to relive the comfort of childhood conversations.

2. Create shared experiences

Plan regular meetings or travels. Annual reunions or weekend trips can provide a devoted opportunity to reconnect and make new shared experiences, suggests Dr Tugnait.

3. Embrace life’s changes

Be open to the changing dynamics in your friendship. Accept that your lives have changed, but remember the basic bond that brought you and your friends together.

4. Show genuine interest

Maintain a genuine interest in each other’s life. Remember key events and follow up on their experiences. This shows that you respect your friendship, regardless of your location or time away.

5. Be reliable

Reliability means following through on commitments and being present during important events or occasions. Consistency fosters trust and demonstrates that friendship is a priority for you.

6. Share your past and present

Reminisce about shared childhood experiences, but also incorporate them into your contemporary life. Introduce them to new acquaintances or relationships to help them integrate into your adult life.

7. Be understanding

Recognise that everyone has a hectic life. Do not take it personally if you do not receive an immediate response. Patience and understanding go a long way toward maintaining long-lasting friendships.

What are the negative aspects of childhood friendships?

Childhood friendships have benefits, but they can have negative consequences too.

• These early relationships, developed while social skills and emotional intelligence are still developing, can occasionally foster toxic dynamics, says the expert.
• The hierarchies and cliques that frequently arise in childhood social groupings can foster emotions of exclusion or incompetence that can last into adulthood.
• Childhood friendships can sometimes become static, relying more on shared history than current compatibility, resulting in unsatisfying adult encounters.
• There is also the possibility that these early friendships are related to childhood trauma or unpleasant experiences, which could cause emotional pain if recalled.
• An overreliance on childhood friendships may impede people from developing new, potentially more appropriate relationships in adulthood.

Maintaining childhood friendships offer many mental health benefits. They can improve self-understanding, reduce stress, and boost mood through nostalgia. But approach these long-standing relationships with a balanced mindset. Acknowledge their importance and also recognise when they may no longer serve our best interests.